After the Fall

After my new PCP told me her plan and we wrapped up the visit yesterday, I stood up and headed for the door. Boy what a dumb idea, standing up. Ambulation, sheesh. Like I’m a superhero or something.😆

Julie described what happened next as looking very much like one of Chevy Chase’s pratfalls on SNL’s first season. I didn’t actually fall, because it was a narrow hallway and Julie was grabbing my arms and other hands were reaching out. I just flailed, or perhaps we can call it spontaneous choreography. Lots of arm waving.

Honestly, I didn’t even remember it until Julie mentioned it later. Do you remember stubbing your toe a few hours later? This is pretty common, no fun but not new, or surprising. But possibly entertaining, dunno.

My lab test results started pouring in last night around 11, my phone pinging every 30 seconds for a while. I had a slightly high creatinine and a slightly low GFR, both of which point to possible kidney issues, although every other single test she ran is rock-solid normal. Given that my liver function tests tend to go crazy for no reason at all, serious stuff, and then on repeat test are perfectly normal (as they were yesterday) makes me tend to dismiss this, depending on what the doc thinks.

This is mostly good news, which is always part of the problem. I’m remarkably healthy for a man close to 70 from the usual metrics. I’ve got no ongoing problems with blood pressure, glucose, electrolytes, lipids, etc.

But, of course, I’m not well at all. And even though this doctor is chasing possibilities that have already been caught and released, I like her attitude. Rule out all this stuff, then let’s see.

I think it’s a waste of time, but maybe we’ll get lucky and find something treatable.

Julie and I sat in our mostly empty family room last night, trying to work up the energy to move a few pieces of furniture back, and just sort of lolling around, enjoying the newness.

The only real construction up here was leveling the floors, which just involved framing and some concrete for a new subfloor. We could have leveled everything and covered the entire house with vinyl flooring but it would have been very expensive, probably another $10,000 at least, and nope. We can live with carpet, particularly really nice and new carpet. Shoes and socks have remained off for enjoyment only.

Otherwise it was just cosmetic, but necessary. New molding and paint changed the entire place, seriously. This is an old house and it now feels new, a remarkable little transformation for us. To you, it would look like a normal house, nice, without dirty walls or peeling cheap linoleum (hey, we had to pay for college and we have a disabled son, shut up😀). We still have thrift shop furniture hanging around, very nice and comfortable. We didn’t get fancy, just pretty. I like it.

And here’s a truth that sort of revealed itself to me yesterday, not a surprise at all but still enlightening, at least emotionally.

I thought it would be a good idea to move downstairs, keep everything on one level, just move my desk and stuff down into the bedroom. I was overruled, and John now lives down there. His mood has improved tremendously, apparently, just getting away from the olds and experiencing some manufactured independence. I still mind, but I can appreciate the positives and I don’t have the energy to dwell.

One fun thing — we can now play music. John is autistic and is driven crazy by smells and sounds, and we had a lot of trouble with him complaining and yelling at us to turn down the damn music (yes, we see the irony; moving on).

And I decided to do was change this room here, essentially a home office/guest room, into a place where people could come in and watch TV. It’s really a tiny room, less than 100 sq ft of functional space, and I have a large desk in here. The solution was obviously to mount the TV on the wall, off the floor and out of the space equation.

I’ve never mounted any of our TVs, never saw the benefit. I bought a mount apparatus and read the instructions, simple, drill a few holes, screw a few screws, put that 55-inch screen up there and we have a movie room.

So yeah. I can’t do this. I could drill the holes but I’d run the risk of mis-measuring or some other weird error. I certainly can’t work above my head, that’s asking for bad news.

And even though I love my son dearly, he is a bit of a dick when it comes to helping me. Julie used to enjoy doing stuff like this but not so much anymore. I know people who would come over and help, but they’re 30-40 miles away.

So I guess I’ll hire a handyman or college kid to mount my damn TV, and I also guess that means I’ve internalized the sitch, so to speak. I’m gonna need help from here on out. Might as well be grateful I can find it.

And for the record, I do not resemble Chevy Chase in any way, so let’s find some other example.